Recently, I shared tips for moms dealing with anxiety and depression. I mentioned the importance of reaching out and having a clear, honest line of communication with your friends and family. I have dealt with anxiety and depression my whole life. However, I have also been on the other side, where I am the friend or family member that is trying to help someone out of the darkness. So today, I want to share ways to reset your wife when she is falling apart.
I think this is an extremely important topic because so many moms out there are close to or going through depression, anxiety, or mental burnout. It is important for their spouses to know how they can help.
Related Post: Tips to Stay Motivated While Fighting Depression
Ways To Reset Your Wife When She Is Falling Apart
First, I would like to share with you some warning signs of burnout. Sometimes if you notice the signs soon enough you can eliminate or ease the intensity of the fallout. Here are a few things you should watch out for.
- Lacks enthusiasm and energy
- Withdrawn and isolated
- Increasingly cynical
- Stress-related illnesses
- Loss of faith or hope
Try to get involved BEFORE she burns out, but if you don’t catch it here are ways you can help reset her and support her.
I know it can be scary, but don’t panic. If you panic, it could make it worse for your wife because she might feel like it is her fault. Just remember to take one day at a time and be patient with her.
Know Her Responsibilities
Whether your wife is a stay at home mom or works outside of the home it is important that you know what she does. If you don’t, now would be the time to ask her. Have her show you her to-do list. I am willing to bet that it has more items on it then she has time or energy to complete. Trust me, she will appreciate your interest.
When it comes to marriage and parenting, you must remember that it takes two. We really do understand that you work hard outside of the home and are exhausted when you get home, but we just ask that you still be present. Be present in marriage, parenting, and household decisions and chores.
Fight The Urge To Fix-It
Please, fight the urge to fix-it. I know this is easier said than done. When I am going through a very rough time, my husband wants to fix it all for me. He doesn’t like seeing me hurting so he thinks if he can just fix-it then everything will be ok. However, sadly this isn’t always the case. Keep in mind that if she wants solutions she will ask for them. Most of the time, women just like getting their thoughts out in the open. I know for me if I can just say it all out loud it helps me refocus and sometimes I can work out a solution myself.
Hold Her And Be A Good Listener
This tip goes along with fighting the urge to fix-it. Like I said, women just like to get it out in the open. Show her you really care by being a good listener. This also shows her that you validate her feelings and want to try to help. Hold her, love on her, and tell her it’s going to be ok. After she gets everything off of her chest, ask her if there is anything you can do to help.
Source Of Encouragement
It is extremely important for you to be her source of encouragement. When she is in the midst of burnout, it is very important to try to keep things as positive as you can. Encourage her, remind her why you love her, try to help her see the good in every situation, and avoid criticism or negativity. Encourage your wife to make positive steps. For example, giving her the time to spend more time with friends or join a gym while you watch the kids.
Nothing helps me reset more than a day to myself. I love going and getting a manicure/pedicure while reading a good book. Let her sleep in once a week or take a hot bath at night without little fingers pushing up from under the door. Support her and take over her daily chores while she gets a day to herself.
Ask Her What She Needs
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? However, let me tell you this simple question will have a huge impact on your wife. No matter how much you think you know, sometimes you might feel like you are at a loss, so go to the source. She knows better than anyone else what she needs when she is feeling lost.
Pray For Her And With Her
Pray for your wife. She might be in a position where she doesn’t have the energy or motivation to pray for herself. So do it for her. Once she gets to a place where she is ready, ask to pray with her. It is such a bonding experience to pray with your spouse.
Ask For Help
It is extremely important to know when you need to ask for support or assistance. If you ever feel like you have tried everything or if you think she could potentially hurt herself, then it is time to reach out for support. This shouldn’t make you feel like you failed. Sometimes, asking for help is the bravest thing you can do for yourself and your family.
Take Care Of Yourself Too
Remember, in all your worries about your wife to take care of yourself too. It won’t do either of you any good if you are both going through burnout, especially if you have children. Before you get to a point of giving it all you have, ask for help.
I know that this can be difficult for everyone in the family. Just remember to be patient and kind. I can promise you that your wife probably already feels a ton of guilt. Hopefully, my ways to reset your wife when she is falling apart will help you take a step in the right direction. Love each other. Pray for each other. And remember, the joy comes at the end of a storm.
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31